The psychological impact of social media on wedding couples
Today I went to a workshop about the psychological effect of social media on our kids at my daughter’s school. While there, I kept thinking about how social media also affects couples getting married and I decided to share those thoughts with you. It’s important to be aware of the pros and cons we are exposed to and how the information can change our perspectives and sometimes determine what we want without us being fully aware of it. My Honour Degree in Social Science always gives me a deep understanding of what is happening in my job and I hope this will help couples to get more awareness!
Three aspects of the psychological impact of social media on our lives caught my attention and I think couples should be aware of and try to process when looking at social media to get inspirational insights for their wedding. Of course, this content applies to couples keen to get married abroad which is what my wedding agency is helping with.
The first aspect is the “now” factor. The most typical example of a “now factor” is to look at your phone and instantly get excited about the idea of a wedding abroad. You see images that you like and instantly get this feeling that you found the perfect place or country for your wedding. The “now factor” translates into a full immersion into internet research of venues, places, questions about budgeting, etc. Most of the time what happens is that couples end up spending lots of time contacting random venues they found on Instagram or a wedding blog or directory but in the end what do to do with the information received? Another pretty common thing happening is that couples decide to get their tickets to visit the country where they are supposed to get married without even having a full picture of the implications. As a wedding planner I can notice this happening every time more and when this happens the couples contact me saying “I have spent a long time trying to get information but I am lost”, “We need help as we want to get married in Italy but everything seems very confused”, “We went to Italy and saw some venues but we didn’t find what we were looking for”, “We booked a venue but we don’t know how to go ahead”… dead ends and lots of time and money spent before even starting planning your wedding.
How to handle the “now factor”? My recommendation is to do your research, which is the good part of social media, and try to have an idea of what you are looking for. The next step would be to process the information you have, to understand if a wedding abroad would be feasible in terms of logistics. Once you are sure you want to go ahead you have to ask yourself some questions: “Would we be able to organize a wedding abroad ourselves?”, “Will we be able to handle the communication process with the wedding vendors if they do not speak our language properly?”, “Will we manage to get all we need for the wedding if we cannot physically be there?”, “Are our expectations real”? Instead of wasting your time and money, contact a local wedding planner or a wedding planner specialized in weddings abroad (and specifically in the country where you want to get married) and rely on professional suggestions and advice.
The second aspect is the “emotional regulation”. The images you see on Instagram all show happiness, smiles, laughs, and of course, this is what is expected to happen in every wedding. But the pictures don’t show all the emotions going around inside you on the wedding day! Most of the time my lovely couples expect to be just happy the same way they have seen in so many pictures…and you will, I promise! But the moments before the ceremony or the night before the wedding you’ll feel overwhelmed with all the emotions you didn’t expect to be there. The anxiety of walking down the aisle, the pressure of doing the right thing, being perfect, to please all the guests. Sometimes unexpected situations add feelings that you just haven’t planned to be there… your best friend is giving birth and cannot be with you… your brother's flight connection was delayed and he’ll miss part of the celebration… your future husband forgot the rings at home!! There are so many possible things that could happen and you’ll find yourself in an emotional space where you haven’t expected to be. Regardless…. you will feel completely happy once the ceremony starts and you’ll look at your partner in the eyes and think that this is the only important thing in life, what you want and what really matters.
Just accept yourself, your feelings, and don’t feel guilty for not resembling those pictures that keep popping up in your mind. You are unique and the way you feel it is as well. Also, bear in mind throughout the planning period that a wedding is a happy moment, don’t push yourself with extra stress, and live it for what it is…one of the happiest days in your life, a party where all the people you love will support your choice and celebrate with you.
And third, and last, aspect of social media impacting your decision, is “awareness”. Looking at all the beautiful images on Instagram makes you think that this is what each wedding looks like. This is something that applies to couples regardless of their budget. The more you can spend the higher your expectations. Wedding agencies and wedding planners post only the best shots, the remarkable works, and what is trendy at the moment. You’ll end up wanting what you see because you are repeatedly watching the same kind of images. And I agree, they are all beautiful images and Instagram is the best inspirational source! However, you have to ask yourself two questions. Would it be my first choice or do I just want my wedding like the images I see because it’s trendy and cool? Would my budget be enough to get that result?
In my experience, if you have to downgrade your decorations and flowers because it’s budget-wise impossible for you to sustain the expenses, then the best option would be to change for something yours, something that you haven’t seen on Instagram but that is personal and warm. If you go for a simpler version of the decorations you might end up feeling frustrated and not 100% satisfied with the result. Once again, the best option is to find a reliable and professional destination wedding planner, establish clearly what are your expectations, and define what your budget is. If it won’t be possible to achieve the setup you desire you can still work together with your wedding planner to find the best setup for you. Try to add elements that you like rather than copy some images that belong to other weddings and live your wedding planning moment as an exciting and creative period of your life.
